Friday, August 5, 2016

Discoveries from the retired folks

Yes, we are still retired.  We don’t have paying jobs anymore. What are we doing with our time? Mainly playing. It is a time of discovery.  Discovering things such as…do not take twin two year old boys to find Dory. She is still lost as far as I’m concerned.  However, I was able to find a small shoe, a bobo (pacifier), and my dignity…it too was under the theatre seats.  It was near the area I crawled around with my phone light trying to locate the afore mentioned objects. A lady sitting near the area was very nice and offered to help me instead of calling the police to report a weirdo crawling near her leg in a dark theatre.

 On that same trip we discovered there are booster seats located outside theatre doors.  These are what evidently keeps children from being swallowed by the thwonging flip up seats.  We once served a church that had theatre seats…the mother of these two boys was also once swallowed by a thwonging theatre seat.  Hers was during a hymn in the worship service so her screams were muffled…the lights were also on… Note to self.  It is much easier to extract a distraught toddler from a thwonged theatre seat in the light…this might have caused the FIRST shoe loss. Perhaps the reason that we didn’t see the booster seats were #1 toddler on hip, #2popcorn bucket in hand, #3large purse containing toddler cups, 2 of the most expensive bottled waters ever,  snack cups, boot-legged reasonably priced chocolate, bobos, wipes, cell phone with flashlight, lots of cash for discount theatre day #4other toddler on Dukeboy hip, #5 dimly lit hallways designed for people with younger eyes. I neglected to mention that we noticed the seats when other people were carrying them in for their young children…we had lots of time to notice because the previews which are usually 20 minutes long were 30 minutes…are you kidding me?  Do these movie planners have toddlers?

We thought we had this theatre thing locked up… we’d had lunch at a burger joint with a playground. A massive, wonderful playground. Get them tired before a relaxing movie.  All I can think of though is “Where’s the Beef?” I’ve never been to a chain restaurant where they were “out of beef”.  Chicken is good there though.  Did I say wonderful playground?  Actually massive is the best description.  Dukeboy went up top and I stayed on the ground.  Next time I’m taking the top.  Did I mention this was a MASSIVE playground? It must have eight slides!!! On all four sides, and a fort underneath.  God is merciful though. The only other children there left shortly before after our arrival.  Their parents probably were beef eaters. I enjoy other kids too but when you are trying to eyeball Two Two-year- olds it’s much easier when you only have those two to choose from.  Did I also mention this was July and I was sweating profusely after all that fun on the MASSIVE playground?  Time for a cool relaxing movie, ha!

We also discovered since retirement some of the best entertainment is in our own backyard. This news is for another day.  Thanks to all of you who attended Dukeboy’s last sermon and retirement party.  We had friends from every church we’ve served. Wonderful food and lots of well wishes. It was a great day to start retirement.

Karen Erwin-Brown is a retired preacher’s wife, retired therapist, and full-time Sughar of twin two year-olds. She lives on the Chattahoochee with her retired preacher.